emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.
this is important because so many people don’t know this
"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
So much this…
When I’m at my worst, just being invited to drive with you while you run errands is often enough to keep me from doing a complete downward spiral, but please don’t guilt people for not being able to hang out… It’s the worst feeling of shame for having depression in the first place on top of worrying that you will lose those you love for being a shitty friend.
This body of work is an exploration of the extent of cultural appropriation and encourages a discussion about it. I give the appropriator and the appropriated the opportunity to defend themselves and create a dialogue between them, while maintaining a neutral stance myself. I am not attacking those who appropriate, merely educating and creating awareness. Neutrality is key in this series, as i remove myself from my political and social status and opinions, stripping the problem to the most basic issue; taking an item that means a great deal to somebody and corrupting it.
By 13 years-old 53% of girls say they are unhappy with their bodies. When were we happy? Marie C. photographed and interviewed 4-8 year old girls and asked them what they liked about their bodies to find out.
"i like my body because it’s magic"
I’ve definitely reblogged this before but I think this is so striking. The only time we truly love and accept ourselves as women, flesh and bone, is when we are still in elementary school. And the age rage provided in the accompanying text of this post barely covers the last two years of elementary school. When I was in fourth grade, I already needed a training bra and I remember feeling so insecure about myself for being so tall, so forward, so awkward. This time in a girl’s life is so fragile and we must remember that. Celebrate girls always.
Sex workers are human beings…. from cam models to strippers to porn stars. It may not be your cup o’ tea (mmm, tea), but it doesn’t give you the right to disrespect or shame them.
Reblogging this again because people think that just because someone is a sex worker, means that they are not intelligent, can’t have normal lives, and treat them like complete shit.
List ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Then tag 10 more.
"The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff
"Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy
"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith
"The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" by Ann Brashares
"No One Belongs Here More Than You" by Miranda July
"A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseni
"Winnie the Pooh" by A.A. Milne
"Love is a Special Way of Feeling" by Joan Walsh Anglund
"Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro
"Alanna: The First Adventure" by Tamora Pierce
Tagging wittyrunaway, matthiasstewart, seemeimbeebee, sarahgoogs, listsandlove, and malachiblork (when she returns from Nicaragua).